Maniaq

Good evening. This is your Captain. We are about to attempt a crash landing. Please extinuish all cigarettes. Place your tray tables in their upright, locked position. Your Captain says: Put your head on your knees. Your Captain says: Put your head on your hands. Captain says: Put your hands on your head. Put your hands on your hips. Heh heh. This is your Captain-and we are going down. We are all going down, together. And I said: Uh oh. This is gonna be some day. Standby. This is the time. And this is the record of the time. This is the time. And this is the record of the time. Uh-this is your Captain again. You know, I've got a funny feeling I've seen this all before. Why? Cause I'm a caveman. Why? Cause I've got eyes in the back of my head. Why? It's the heat. Standby. This is the time. And this is the record of the time. This is the time. And this is the record of the time. Put your hands over your eyes. Jump out of the plane. There is no pilot. You are not alone. Standby. This is the time. And this is the
record of the time. This is the time. And this is the record of the time.

Profesor mowi do studenta:
- Nie zalicze panu roku. Ani razu nie byl pan na zajeciach.
- Niech da mi pan szanse!
- Przykro mi.
- A gdybym tak wszedl na sciane, przespacerowal sie po niej i zszedl spowrotem na ziemie, da mi pan 3?
- Co pan wygaduje, przeciez to niemozliwe!!!
Jednak po dlgich namowach profesor zgadza sie. Student, ku zdziwieniu profesora, wchodzi na sciane i spaceruje po niej tak, jakby chodzil po ziemi. Profesor kiwa z niedowierzaniem glowa, jednak obietnicy zamierza dotrzymac i bierze do reki indeks. Uczen jednak mowi:
- A gdybym wszedl na sufit, zrobil na nim pare fikolkow, "spadajac" spowrotem na sufit, dostane 4?
Profesor nadal nie wierzy w mozliwosci studenta, jednak i teraz dal sie przekonac. Student zrobil co mowil, a profesor nadal mocno zdziwiony bierze sie za wpisywanie oceny.
- A jesli wejde teraz na stol i obsiusiam pana, a pan pozostanie mimo wszystko suchy, postawi mi pan piatke?
Profesor jest juz wyraznie zaciekawiony wyczynami studenta, wiec sie zgadza. Student wchodzi na stol, wyjmuje malego, po czym sika na profesora. Jednak tym razem nic nadzwyczajnego sie nie stalo i profesor jest caly mokry. Uczen na to:
- Nooooo, niech zostanie czworka.

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