The Luck Of The Irish
One and one and two are three
If you adhere to Irish logic
That's just one of the many jokes of which
the Irish are the topic
You can talk about the luck of but in
truth there's not a lot
So we have this reputation of being
as thick two short planks
And although George Bernard Shaw was Irish he's an Englishman No we don't live in houses that are otherwise known as bars Yes we do have other transport besides donkeys and carts Go to Dublin day or night And see for yourself there's not a bog in sight
In America the joke about the irishman would die There for some peculiar season it's the polish they decry Bet in sweden it's norwegians and in norway it's the danes And it's a fallacy to think that irish people drink the most when in njoy germany alone their beer consumption unapproached As for britian far from being sober they would enjoy thier drink But to call an enghlishman a drunk would be an awful thing What you need todo for that is a chap named pat and the luck of the irish Kiss the blarney stone but get down on your back to do it Okay on the surface I admit it does seem rather stupid But you mustn't judge a book by all accounts But by what's underneath it's Cover up your daughters what they don't see they won't miss Remember contraception is despair but ignorance is bliss The church will tell you what you should and what you shouldn't do is argue with it Shergar's body been exhumed by irish terrorists today If the ransom isn't paid out then his life may not be saved No we don't live in houses that a
re otherwise known as bars Yes we do have other transport besides donkeys and carts Go to Dublin day or night And see for yourself there's not a bog in sight The luck of the irsh
Kiss the blarney stone but get down on your back to do it Okay on the surface I admit it does seem rather stupid But you mustn't judge a book by all accounts But by what's underneath it's Cover up your daughters what they don't see they won't miss Remember contraception is despair but ignorance is bliss The church will tell you what you should and what you shouldn't do is argue with it
W przedziale kolejowym jada ?yd i szlachcic i rozmawiaja na rozne tematy. Kiedy w koncu rozmowa schodzi na temat interesow, szlachcic pyta:
- "Panie kupiec, niechz pan mi powie, skad wy ?ydzi macie taka dobra glowe do interesow."
?yd, ktory wlasnie je sledzia, usmiecha sie na te slowa i mowi:
- "Widzi pan, panie dziedzicu, my ?ydzi jadamy bardzo duzo ryb, i to razem z glowami. W ciele ryby, a zwlaszcza w jej glowie, znajduje sie duzo fosforu. Fosfor rozwija komorki mozgowe i sprawia, z jestesmy tak dobrzy w interesach."
Szlachcic widzi, z ?yd obzra sie sledziami, i postanawia cos zrobic, aby mu sie lepiej powodzilo w interesach. Mowi wiec do ?yda:
- "Panie kupiec, odsprzedaj mi kilka sledzi."
?yd odmawia. Szlachcic proponuje mu po piec rubli za sztuke, potem dziesiec, potem pietnascie, potem dwadziescia. Wreszcie, po dlugich targach, ?yd zgadza sie sprzedac mu dwa sledzie za piecdziesiat rubli. Szlachcic zjada je z apetytem, ale niebawem odczuwa pragnienie. Na najblizszej stacji wychodzi wiec z pociagu i idzie do bufetu, aby napic sie piwa. Po chwili wraca do przedzialu i mowi do ?yda:
- "Ale ze mnie glupiec, z zaplacilem panu tyle pieniedzy za te sledzie. Przeciez moglem poczekac do tej stacji i kupic je tutaj za trzydziesci kopiejek."
- "O widzi pan, panie dziedzicu!" - wola ?yd. - "To juz dziala!"
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